For The Love of Justice Part 2

So a year ago (almost to the date) I did a post called "For The Love of Justice."

Would you believe over the past year I have heard so many stories about fathers fighting the justice system, trying to get to see their kids, trying to be involved in their children's lives, even fighting for maintenance.It has shocked me to say the least.

Just like how everything else in life has evolved so have the roles of fathers. Fathers are no longer those people that just sit on the side lines and watch from a distance. Nope. These 21st century dad's are just as involved as the mothers. Hell some of them are playing both mom and dad. Yes I know that alot of woman have been doing it for years and that I am not accrediting them for it but this side of the spectrum is for those unheard voices. Woman we are lucky that law in most countries around the world were designed to protect us, because let's face it, for a long time alot of men ran from their responsibilities.

But with times changing and men becoming active fathers, should our laws not be changed and designed to meet these new roles?

People stood up and fought for woman's right. People stood up and fought for racism to end. People stood up and fought for the right to vote (and the list goes on and on). But why are we all not standing up to fight for the men that do want to be full time dads? Why are we always (especially as woman) so ready to stand by our girlfriends and back them up when they need to go claim for maintenance, but no-one wants to hear the father's plight?

I recently heard a story about a father that was raising his twin boys and whose mother did not give them any financial assistance. Now had this been a mother who was raising her twin sons and the father was not paying maintenance all it would take would be one visit to the courthouse and the father's salary would be garnished for the funds. But unfortunately because the way our justice system is designed he has to continually go to court to get some sort of compensation, which till today has headed no results.

Another story I heard was of a man who had been paying maintenance for his 2 children for the past 6 years. Upon pursuing paternity results (which took over a year to get a court order to summons the woman for the tests) it was found that he was not the father of any of the children. What became of all the money that he had spent on the children? Nothing. Had it been the other way round the man would've immediately been summons to pay all arrears or go to jail.

And the stories continue.

I am living for the day when our laws are changed, hell I want to be a part of that change. I'm even thinking of starting some sort of organisation.

If there is any dad's out there who are going through similar circumstances, please do sound off in the comments or mail me your story. These men are real people, with real feelings, who also deserve a voice and a chance to be heard and seen.

Xoxo T

Book Club Corner - JoJo Moyes - Me Before You

I recently was given a book to read by one of my friends. Now you know me I love reading. But I like simple books which are easy to get into and not too long.(You know time is something that I don't have alot of.)

I was taken aback by this book. Now look, I had heard of Jojo Moyes before (who hasn't?), but I had never read any of her books before. And boy am I glad that my first JoJo Moyes experience was so great. The second I finished this book (which only took me a week to read by the way, and which goes to show just how good it was that I couldn't put it down) I messaged my friend and said thank you. Next thing I did was get onto twitter and messaged JoJo to let her know what an awesome book it was, and to let her know that I absolutely had to do a review on it. And so here it goes...

The book is about a young girl, Lou, who finds herself without a job after the cafe where she has worked at for several years unexpectedly closes. She still lives at home with her parents, younger sister, nephew and grandfather, and she is basically the bread winner in her family, she immediately has to find another job. So off she goes to the employment agency and after doing a couple of terrible odd jobs, a job comes in for a care giver. Although Lou has no experience whatsoever she lands up getting the job. And this is where things get interesting.

I cannot divulge anymore information because it would definitely ruin your experience when you get to read the book, but I can tell you that it is a real tear jerker. This book shows how you can fall in love unexpectedly and what you are capable of doing in order to keep the one you love. It also shows you how the love of a mother will lead her to do anything for her child. This book takes you on a roller-coaster of emotions. From triumph and happiness to anger and sadness. It is one of the most eloquently written books I have read.

I was quite sad when I finished reading the book but just as I was about to close the book I saw on the very back page a wonderful surprise. After telling us a bit more about the author it was revealed that this book is being turned into a motion picture! (Eeek!!!)

I don't know about you but I can hardly contain myself the way I am so excited to see the movie. I also cannot wait to read the next installment in the Jojo Moyes series: "After You."

Jojo brilliant work. Thank you for touching on such a life altering event and showing us that love has many forms....

XoXo T.

P.S. I just checked out Jojo Moyes website and the movie is set to release on the 3rd of June (whoop, whoop!!) Me before you movie trailer

*Accrediation: @jojomoyes
*Accreditation: www.jojomoyes.com

Music Corner - Aka - "Baddest"

You know how I love these Music Corner post because they mesh my 2 favourite things: writing and music (whoop, whoop!!)

So I go to thinking that I definitely have to plug more local artists (and by local I mean South African!) And here in S.A we have a saying "Local is lekker" (Afrikaans saying loosely translated to local is nice!) And who better to kick off our local spin than the biggest selling South African hip hop artist, the rap legend that is Aka!!! (And the crowd goes wild).

He has quickly become a legendary hip hop artist in South Africa, hell in Africa baby! He is even making waves in the rest of the world! (He just got home from the USA.) And although of late there have been so many controversial issues surrounding him (which we are NOT getting into because we only promote positive vibes here on #lifeluveverything) and besides this is all about the music...


E! News recently did a special about him (you definitely better go "Catch Up," "Google," "You Tube," whatever, to see the episode), because as big a fan of his as I am, even I learned some new ish about him watching that special.

But I must be quite honest that although I did listen to his music and had heard about him I wasn't really a fan. My fanship started about a year or 2 ago when my husband had the pleasure of meeting him (I'm so jelly now!!!) and after that (till this day, I kid you not) my husband can't stop talking about Aka or playing his music. So in my household its team Aka all the way, eeryday.

Now Aka has a ton of hits here back in SA, but my  personal favourite (although a bit old now) has to to be "Baddest" (which also features a host of other hip hop artists). You can find me cruising in my car on any given day and the first song on my playlist is this.

This song is just on a whole other level. The beat is sick, the lyrics are dope and the sound is unlike any you've ever heard. He deserves an MTV Music Award for it (although he did win a MAMA for one of his other songs.)

Yo Aka "You got me feeling like the baddest...."

XOXO T

Where Is She now?....What Has She Done With Her Life?

So social media has helped grow and evolve this blog (thank you, thank you and thank you again. Words would never be able to explain my gratitude for the love, support and appreciation everyone has shown #lifeluveverything.) Social media has also allowed me to meet alot of different people and one of them being the extraordinary Hilary Coombes.

@hilarycoombes and I have become great friends. We've talked about our posts, what we are working on (or thinking of working on), and our families. She has always championed me on from the moment she read my first post. About a little less than a year ago @hilarycoombes said that she was working on a book. I had also been toying with the idea of starting a book but wasn't sure how to go about it and she helped me out with some tips.

Well last week @hilarycoombes let me know that her book had just launched. I was so super stoked for her (still am, you guys should definitely go out and check  The Hen Party )

But in my elation for her, a sort of nostalgic feeling came over me...and it was a sense of what am I doing with my life?

Sometimes I really feel like I have become a waste of space, an oxygen thief. Alot of the time I feel like I am drowning (hell since I am being so open and honest, I've been having heart palpitations which are on the verge of panic attacks), because life just seems so overwhelming. (Does anyone else feel like this?) It also makes me think about the post I did of the Nicki Minaj song "Dear Old Nicki" (check blog post dated Sunday 1 November 2015 http://www.lifeluveverything.blogspot.co.za/2015/11/music-corner-nicki-minaj-dear-old-nicki.html )

Now look I have come to grips with the fact that as you get older things change, people change etc. I get it. But surely at my age I should be at some sort of settling point in my life. Either know where I'm going and how I'm getting there or damn well be on that path already!

But...nothing. I love doing this blog and I play around (in my head, sometimes on paper) with concepts, topics etc, but time just gets away from me, ALL THE TIME. I have the idea of going to study, something, anything. Even went online once to check out courses but that was the beginning and end of it.

My days consist of work and my nights consist of cooking, feeding my family, trying to spend a little bit of time with my family, watch some mindless tv (just to switch my brain off) and sleep. So you can understand why I feel like a hamster on a wheel.

Then I look around me at the people I know (coz for some reason I don't have much friends these days) and I see how much people are evolving, growing, prospering, maturing and achieving. And I always wonder what do people think of me when they see me (yes it's none of my business to know what people think) but still.

I mean me of past was the most vibrant person you could've found, the life of the party, the social butterfly, the one with the BIGGEST hopes and dreams, the one who would "make it."

So where is she now....what has she done with her life?

XOXO T.

*Accreditation: https://twitter.com/HILARYCOOMBES
*Accreditation: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hen-Party-Hilary-Coombes-ebook/dp/B01BCVQ2ES/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1455189699&sr=1-1&keywords=hilary+coombes

Adjusting to Big School

So the new year has come... I mean it's February already. And my what a world wind it has been!!

I feel like I have not had a moment to myself let alone, a moment to think or write.

So my son started at big school this year, Grade R. Yes we got into the school of my dreams but my what hard work it has turned out to be.

From getting school uniforms, to choosing extra murals, to him even making friends.

I thought this big school thing would be a breeze, afterall he had 2 years in pre-school to prepare. But boy was he not. He cried everyday for the first week and half of school. He had no friends and actually started saying that he hated school and wanted to go back to his nursery school. I was in total panic mode. I though I had made the biggest mistake ever! I even felt like a failure of a mom.

But the light came in the form of Granny. My mom came to visit for a week and managed to speak to his teacher and tell her about the lack of friends situation, and 2 days later he made a friend. (Phew!).


Then extra murals began and he was in his element. Afterall my son is the biggest sports fanatic I know. So now he is doing cricket and golf. (Golf, who would've have ever thought?) There are no more tears in the morning. He goes to school looking forward to whatever sport he will be playing that day.

I hope his love for school (actual school work) does improve because these are going to be the best years of his life.

I mean when I walked back into that school hall, 15 years later (after finishing there), it was like I had come full circle. My son continues the family tradition and for the first time ever I felt like an actual grown up (an old one :)  but an actual grown up nonetheless.

Here's to many many more years of being part of a school that is rich in history, family and great education.

XOXO
T.

Music Corner -- Nicki Minaj - Dear Old Nicki

Hi Guys,

Where has the time gone? It feels like forever since I had a free moment to blog. Work and life are just super hectic at the moment. But I promise I'm going to start making more of an effort to blog more.

I thought since it's been a while I should opt for something that comes as easy as writing, and that's music. I owe music so much. If it weren't for music I don't know how I would keep it all together in this crazy life that I live.

I put the radio on when I'm cooking and cleaning and it just puts me in the right head space.

You know me I can fall in love with a song without ever hearing it just because of the lyrics. But when I became a Nicki Minaj fan I just went and downloaded a whole bunch of her songs and happened to download this title track.

I listened to it and thought wow Nicki, how do you know me so well? 

This song is about Nicki of now talking to Nicki of the past. 

It resonated so well with me because alot of the time I feel I have last the essence of what made me, me.

I can see the old me, the girl with the biggest dreams out of everyone, the girl who believed that she was going to be someone in this world, looking at me now saying "What happened to us?"

The song starts by saying: "Maybe you died coz everybody asks me where you at." Some may times I've felt that I let the real me die in order to be the person that everyone else wants me to be...

Nicki, thank you for this dope track that speaks to my heart every time I listen to it.

To everyone else I hope it speaks to you as much as it has me. And let this be a reminder to not leave the old us in the dust. Coz if it weren't for that girl I would not be the woman I am today.

XoXo T.

*http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/nickiminaj/dearoldnicki.html

*@nicki minaj

"Dear Old Nicki"

[Verse 1]

Maybe you died 'cause everybody ask me where you at

I try to channel you in hopes that I could steer you back

But it's like every intersection we just missed each other

You got your fans waiting tell me you ain't 6 feet under

And tell me that you're coming back and you just took a break

Maybe I blamed you for everything that was my mistake

In hindsight I loved your rawness and I loved your edge

'Cause it was you who talked me down from jumping off the ledge

Your earrings bamboo, your long nails too

Your BMW every time you came through

You was the brave heart

You stole Wayne heart

You never switched it up

You played the same part

But I needed to grow

And I needed to know

Were there some things inside of me that I needed to show?

So I just deaded you

Left you in all black

But dear old Nicki

Please call back

[Chorus]

You told me you'd come when I needed you

And you said it so sweetly I believed you

But I'm standing here calling I can't see you

But I am holding you, holding you, holding you to that

[Verse 2]

Yo, did I chase the glitz and glamour

Money, fame and power

'Cause if so that will forever go down my lamest hour

I should've kept you with me getting at them nameless cowards

There was no match for you, couldn't defeat your powers

I had to make them changes, I hope you understood

You see for every bad, I did a ton of good

But you was underground, and I was mainstream

I live the life now, that we would daydream

My only wish is you come enjoy it with me

Get on them conference calls, go meet the lawyers with me

The money came, yeah, tripled and quadrupled it

But I still miss us when we was just on some stupid shit

And it's still fuck the media

They ridiculed you, never believed in you

They just deaded you

Left you in all black

But dear old Nicki

Please call back

[Chorus]

You told me you'd come when I needed you

And you said it so sweetly I believed you

But I'm standing here calling I can't see you

But I am holding you, holding you, holding you to that

And yes I'm holding you, holding you, holding you

And, yes I'm holding you, holding you, holding you

And yes I'm holding you, holding you, holding you

To that

And yes I'm holding you, holding you, holding you

And, yes I'm holding you, holding you, holding you

And yes I'm holding you, holding you, holding you

To that

The Powerhouse that is Tyler Perry

I've been struggling for weeks now trying to come up with a good, uplifting piece to write about. And then I watched the Emmy's (my first time ever, I know, Can you believe it?!) and thought why not write about one of our greatest scriptwriter's, director's, actor's, playwrights, author and songwriter of our time?!!

Yes ladies and gentlemen I am taking about THE Tyler Perry (round of applause,)

I have ALWAYS admired him, ALWAYS. I fell in love with his work when I watched one of his plays. Man oh man! I was so impressed, so inspired and so hooked on them. For me they were always better than the films. Don't get me wrong I love his films to bits!! (Hell I've been sitting here waiting anxiously for "Why did I get Married 3" to come out. Hint Hint Tyler.) But there is just something about the stage performances that moves me...every time.

I remember seeing him on Oprah and talking about his life and how he started out. I think that right there made me a die hard fan. There is nothing more moving and motivating than seeing someone come from struggle to rise and conquer the world.

When he opened up his film studio I was beside myself with joy!!! For me that was his stamp to say "World I have made it!!!" He was creating more job opportunities for talented people such as himself. That right there is poetry in motion.

When he came forward and told the world about how he was molested as a child, that proved his stregnth. I'm sure that was the hardest thing he ever had to do. But in doing so he has helped so many men step forward and claim back their lives.

The fact that he has now teamed up with the OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) just proves what a powerhouse he is.

With the recent passing of Bobbi Kristina Brown (Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown's daughter) he shared with the world a moving photo montage tribute for her....this showed how humble, sincere and sympathetic he is.

And now he is starring in his biggest role ever...Father. Congratulations Tyler, I know you will be the greatest dad ever!!!

In closing I just want to say thank you to Tyler for the amazing work that he continues to do. You are a true leader, a great example and one of the most inspiring people I have ever seen. You have in fact inspired me to expand my love of writing.  You guys should definitely follow him online as he posts the best videos and motivational message ever. You'll also get to see just how down to earth he really is. Coz that's how he rolls!!!

Till next time guys. XoXo T

**www.tylerperry.com
**@tylerperry
**https://www.facebook.com/TylerPerry