A large number of premmie babies suffer from apneas of prematurity. Due to their brains being so underdeveloped it sometimes forgets to send out the signal that they need to breathe. Yep, you read correctly,your baby (or in this case my baby) would stop breathing, often. Caffeine is administered to help the brain "stay wake."
The first time it happened I didn't quite understand what was going on and of course when they explained it to me I had an emotional breakdown.
When he stopped breathing he would have to be stimulated. So we would rub his chest, tap his feet or lift him up.
I became paranoid. I would literally sit and watch the monitors and stare at his chest, to see if it was going up and down. I remember there was a day when there was a city wide strike in our town. People would not be able to get to work. All major highways were being closed off.
That day I was going to become a "nurse". (Not literally of course) but I had decided that I would stay at the hospital all day and even all night if need be to make sure my child was okay. (Turns out it wasn't necessary as all the nurses and doctors were at work), but in my mind my child's life depended on it.
My child was one of few who actually had a lot of apneas. The highest recorded in a day was 14. That is a scary number if you think about.
The funny thing with apneas is one day they just stop. Well normally by the time the baby reaches full term they should stop. But that doesn't mean that you, as a paren,t are still not wary that your kid might stop breathing. I mean even today, although we have been home for almost 2 months, I still worry that he may stop breathing. I'm always checking on him, I never leave him alone for long periods, (even if he is asleep I'm there watching, making sure.)
I remember the first time he got transferred to the normal ward. God I was petrified. You see in ICU each child has their own personal nurse, there to specifically watch over your child 24/7. In the general ward there are 10 babies to 2 nurses. I was freaked out. I wanted to move into the ward (which unfortunately due to our government facilities is not permitted).
My son did well...for 3 days. On the third day he had an apnea, a major one...and I froze. I literally froze. But luckily I didn't freeze for long and managed to call a nurse. But I was scared, extremely scared. I could've lost my son in that moment. Next minute there were doctors and nurses all over and he was being rushed backed to ICU.
He ended up staying in ICU for another 3 weeks. The second time round when he was transferred to the general ward I was less apprehensive, and believe it or not he never had another apnea again.
To all the parents out there experiencing the same thing at this moment all I can say is I feel your pain. And honestly, with time, it does get better.
XOXO, T.
*Accreditation: Image is from Preemie Support and Awareness
https://www.facebook.com/PreemieSupportandAwareness/
