The "BIG" school debate

So we've reached that junction in our child's life whereby we should start looking for a school for Grade R. And from the moment he was born I knew which school I wanted to send him to. But now that I've been talking to other parents and have heard of or seen other schools...I'm a bit confused.

For those of us who are parents and those of us who will be parents it's the age old question of which school is the right school?

We all of course cannot afford to send our children to private schools. So we look at the "upper level" government schools (this could also include semi-private schools.) You have to look at the area aspect of it, as most schools will not even consider your application  if you do not live in the area. (Although I have witnessed bus and taxi loads of children coming to school who obviously do not live in the area. But hey that's just my observation.)

I guess my biggest concern at the moment is do I leave my child in the pre-school he is now (as they do have a Grade R class) or do I move him to "big school" to do Grade R, so that when he starts Grade 1, he would already be in a routine and it wouldn't be a new, overwhelming experience. Do we choose a  co-ed or same sex school?

Most primary schools only have one Grade R class so the spaces are VERY limited. So this would also play a factor into whether or not he will leave or stay. Do I put him in a school close to home (where I would need to hire a nanny to pick him everyday) or do I put him in a school close to home (where I will have to put him in aftercare which by the way closes at 5:00pm everyday and I would have to somehow leave work early in order to pick him.) Which school best suits our pockets as school fees these nowadays are EXTREMELY high.

Today I however took a big step by getting my first set of application forms. Said school is my husband's first choice. The form is 3 pages long which I took as a good sign. This particular school is rich in history and in fact prides itself in its history. (This is quite evident in that 3 quarters of the application is based on if you have any family members in the school or if any of your family members have ever attended that school.)

There however were two things that literally took my breath away (and not in a good way.)
1. There is a whole questionnaire attached that basically is an essay as to why your child wants to attend the school. (Umm hello, at 4 years old I doubt he'd be able to say) and really what is the appropriate thing to say?
2. The HUGE deposit that is required upon acceptance ( I nearly had a heart attack when I saw that.)

So our quest will continue as most applications only open after the school holidays. We will be going to open days, fill out application forms and sit with baited breath while we wait for our son's future to be decided.

I'm nervous, excited, I'm feeling helluva old and I'm so scared because I want to make the right the decision, the best decision, not only for us but for my son. I want him to be in  a school where he is happy, where he'll grow in all aspects, both academically and on the sports field, where he'll fit in and stand out as a leader. Where he will learn qualities and life long lessons that will help shape him into a man above men. I want the best for him.

So here's to making the best/right choice for big school.

Xoxo, T.

For the love of Friends

So as you all know this is a topic that has been weighing on my mind for some time now. I don't even know if its blog worthy yet, but here it goes....

I've always considered myself a good friend. I'm a ride or die kind of chick. I've held onto alot of my friendships like I was stuck at sea and they were my lifesaver. But as I have been getting older, I've realized that people do change (which I am okay with), I just never thought our friendship dynamics would.

I'm all for personal growth. In fact I think I'm the advocate for personal growth. But as my friends and I have grown up, gone on different paths of life, started careers and life itself, we have drifted apart. I know I've tried to keep in touch (whether its by smsing, e-mailing, whatsapping, facebooking etc) but as I've gone through my personal challenges I've noticed with me stepping back and re-evaluating my friendships, I actually don't have as many friends as I thought (hell this blog itself is a testimony to that.)

My primary school friends were definitely a group of girls that I always thought we would be best friends forever. Yet even back then our dynamics shifted. I remember going from "Miss Popular" to being totally ostracized at one point. But the girls who really were my friends still continued to be my friend. When we went onto high school the group split because we all went onto different schools. High school for me was rough because everything changed. The schools that I went to were a whole other world compared to the primary school I went to. It was a HUGE reality check!! But myself and two of the girls did stay in contact. My one friend and I would write letters to each other every other week just to catch up and let each other know what was going on in our lives. The other girl and I would travel to school together and I would always go to her house. And although (until now) she never knew, she was my saving grace. Her family showed me so much love at a time in my life when everything was messed up.

But then I changed schools and we lost touch. But the other girl and I still stayed in contacted. When I started at my new school I became friends with a girl in my building and we started going to Youth together. She and I are still friends  till today. We experienced ALOT in our teens. I then changed churches and some of the girls that went to my school went to that church. I am still friends with the one girl till today. Together we have experienced the up's and down's of life, marriage and now children. She is someone I can depend on no matter what. Social media has definitely helped keep those friendships alive and even rekindle another.

In my adulthood now, I haven't made many new friends. I have just learnt that NOT everyone I meet, or hang out with or even get to know is my friend. I have learned now that I have used the term friendship VERY loosely. Just because I have tried to be an open book, not everyone else is. I have been way too quick to open up to people and they have used my honesty as a weapon, as something to try and break me down. I mean I always thought that relationships (of any  kind) were supposed to be based on honesty. But the world we live in is a cruel one. Lately I have experienced through so called friendship (I now know it couldn't have been friendship, a true friend would never act like that) hurt, jealousy, competitiveness, cruelty and hate.

The saying in life goes "You can't choose your family but you can choose your friends." And alot of the time we feel like our friends are our family. I will never look at or hear that saying the same again. I have always been that give it all or nothing kind of chick. But at this point and time in my life I just don't have time for the b.s. any more. I want to have meaningful friendships. I want my friends to drop me a line every now and then just to see how I'm doing without me having asked them how they are first. I don't want friendships just based on "nice times," "going out" and "just chilling." I'm looking for that kind of friendship whereby we can talk for hours or just sit in silence and we still have a good time. I want the kind of friendship where I have experienced the worst loss in my life and you know just what to say or do to make it feel alright. Where you can hear in the tone of my voice or message that I need a friend. I also need a friend that I know will be there for me no matter, through good times and bad. These are the kind of people I would like to surround myself with because this is the kind of friend I am.

Xoxo T.