Pregnancy Awareness Week - The Preemiehood Story

This week in South Africa we are celebrating Pregnancy Awareness Week. 

Birth trauma is real and is something that needs to be highlighted and an issue that needs to be  fixed globally. 

A few years ago when I became a preemie mom I found this awesome page called Preemiehood. It has the most awesome preemie content.

I always wondered who was behind the creation of this beautiful page and what their story was because every, single post seems to speak directly to me.

So I got in touch with the creator/founder and found out that Sarah Zellner is the lady behind the name. And what a rollercoaster she has been on having had not 1,not 2, not 3... but 4 preemies!!!

Sarah was kind enough to give us a glimpse into her first experience of becoming a preemie mom. 

Here is the post told in her words.

Do check out her page @preemiehood

XOXO, T

Preemiehood By: Sarah Zellner 

I have given birth to four premature baby boys. 

My first pregnancy was certainly my most traumatic. I had repressed most of it, and it took years to slowly come back. The day I found out I was pregnant, my [now] ex husband was arrested for domestic violence. 

At my first appointment, I was told my son had a SUA. Single umbilical artery, and he was measuring small. I was put on high risk care. Following that, I had quite a few trips to L&D due to high blood pressure I assumed was solely from anxiety. It was partly, but I was also diagnosed with early onset severe preeclampsia in the middle/end of my second trimester. The two combined were restricting growth and I heard the term, “IUGR” used for the first time. “Now try not to stress about any of this, you have enough stress and everything you feel is x10 for your baby.” Really, Doc? 

My son didn’t move much, I could actually feel how tight my stomach muscles were, like they were squeezing him. They recommended an amnio. While I am being prepped, they tell me my son has trisomy 18 and they need to see the extent of it, my mind is blown. The nurse then tells me not to worry, she had a tubal pregnancy recently and “Losing a baby isn’t as hard as people make it seem,” I will be able to have more. Those words cut into my mind, and they will always be there.

I waited 72 hours in pure agony not knowing the outcome of the tests. When they did come back, they showed nothing wrong with Jaxson. “He is lying, funny is all.” It went from, “I am going to lose this child” to him just lying funny, just like that, like nobody's real feelings were even taken into account. 

I continue to go in three times a week for stress tests, every single week for labs, and every single week for 24 hour urines. At 30 weeks I was admitted and I was told, “You are not leaving until your baby is born, if you do, he WILL die.”

My blood pressure was out of control and I was spilling protein like it was my job. “Let’s do another amnio, we need to see how his lungs are doing, we may need to take him sooner than later.” 

I begged them not to do it, but it got me nowhere. They went ahead with it, and the second that needle went in, I went into labor. Everything around me started spinning, I thought I was going to be sick, and they were prepping for my son to come out. I don’t really even know how this is possible, babies can’t survive if they are born early. You read that correctly. I had NO idea that my son could be born early and live. I never knew anyone who had a preemie, and all this time in and out of appointments and procedures, not one single person told me about premature babies or the NICU. 

I continue to be monitored until the day they walk in and say, “We are going to induce labor today.” For sixteen hours I sat there and I did not dilate at all. Just a few contractions.. Finally falling asleep I awoke at 2:30 a.m. to nurses telling me I needed to flip over on all fours. Jaxson had stopped breathing and they were taking him out.

They put me under and I could not breathe. I had been tied down, and the last thing I remember was thinking, “I am going to die.” 

When I awoke from surgery I was back in my room. A nurse walked in and said, “Good you’re up, we need to press on your stomach.” I never had a baby, I had no idea what this meant. She proceeded to get on the bed and straddle me. She took both her hands and pressed with all of her force, again and again on my stomach until I was screaming and crying in pain begging her to stop. “I will stop for now, I will be back later to finish though so you better toughen up. 

Now, if you want to see your baby, he is in the NICU and to get there, you need to walk. Once the mag is done you can go.” That was the first time she mentioned my baby was even alive. I had no idea how much he weighed, no idea how he was doing, and no idea where the NICU even was. 

I was in so much pain and it just continued to get worse. I was straddled two more times within about 90 minutes, each time, more and more blood left my body. By the time they told me I could get up and walk to go see my son, I couldn’t hold up my body. “Well until you can walk you can’t go see him, you might want to try harder.” 

So I did, and I passed out on the floor. My doctor didn’t come in until the next day, she had labs run immediately and thank God she did. I was just a few hours away from death. I then received several blood transfusions, and got a wheelchair to go to the NICU and see my son, 48 hours after he was born.

 I cannot tell you why or what exactly happened, but something had gone terribly wrong. During my c section, I did suffer from a lack of oxygen, when I said I couldn’t breathe, I really couldn’t, it’s called hypoxemia. I had developed eclampsia which caused me to seizure, and I hemorrhaged on the operating table.

Meanwhile, my son was born blue, he was non-responsive. Both of us nearly died that day. I had to read all of this in my and my son's medical file. Nobody ever told me what happened that day in words.

Today, my son is fourteen. He has no lasting effects from his birth issues. He is an amazing old soul. We have an incredible bond. I suffer from PTSD surrounding this event, and while I tried, words will never do justice to the emotional toll this took on me just to write it out. 

New Year, New Energy

 I cannot  believe that it has been so long since I last did a post.

But in all honesty, life happened. And I know you can all appreciate that especially with us being in a pandemic for nearly 2 years now.

My family has grown and I am now the mom to 3 boys!! I left my job and have decided to concentrate on my Non-Profit Company full time. 

As you guys would've noticed having my second baby being born prematurely really changed the  course of my life (but in a good way). And it lead me to starting my NPC which has open so many doors and lead me to do some remarkable, life-changing things. 

I never dreamt that this would've been the direction in which my life would've headed in but I am so grateful that this is the path that I am on. 

It's been scary and such a rollercoaster but I'm enjoying every moment of it.

Prematurity (as you have and will see on this blog) is a big part of who I am now. So I appologise in advance for all the content coming your way, but hey that's why the title is Life,Luv and Everything because here we discuss it all.

2021 saw me in a bit of an emotional slump and I decided that this year we are keeping up the energy. Infact I even have adopted the song "Energy" by Tyla Jane  as my motto for this year:

"And it's all because I'm working on my energy.
Cleaning up, I'm taking care of  I, myself and me.
Drinking coffee, take a sip they say I'm sparkling.
Manifest that, Write it Down, you know it's happening."

So here's to a spectacular 2022 (and many more blog posts)

XOXO, T

Preemie Diaries - Meghan and Blaise's Story, on his second birthday

So I know most of my posts have been preemie related over the past 2 years, but I just can't help it. Prematurity has become a huge part of me.

So I hope you stay and walk this journey with me, because Prematurity continues to amaze me. It has taken me on the craziest, most rewarding ride of my life and along the way I've met many phenomenal people.

Today I introduce you to Meghan and Blaise. We have been brought together through (you guessed it),Prematurity.

I'm always in awe of where they started and how far they've come.

Below please find their journey, as told by Meghan.

I had wished for a baby and had tried for over a year to conceive and when my turn finally came around there wasn't a happier mother to be around.


At 18 weeks gestation I went for the routine abnormality blood tests that came back with a chance of spina bifia, my gynecologist sent me to a fetal specialist for a full fetal scan, that's when we found out we were expecting a little boy, Blaise, and he was perfect.

He was thriving and had absolutely no signs of spina bifia. We went on like normal - going for our monthly scans, eating right, drinking my water and taking my vitamins.

29 weeks came along and I can remember as clear as day, it was a Friday, and I had my check up with my gynecologist who was going on leave and I was relieved to know that he then wouldn't be on leave around my due date.

However during my scan he asked alot of questions about Blaise's movements and what they felt like. I had very little amniotic fluid left, I did not leak - I went to antenatal classes so I knew what to look and smell for.

My gynecologist sent me back to the fetal specialist to scan and advise if there was enough fluid to carry Blaise longer.

As it was a Friday afternoon he was already closed for the weekend so I was put on strict bed rest.

Monday morning I called for an urgent appointment and I was told that Dr is very busy he could only see me the following week. I told the receptionist that I couldn't wait that long I need to see him today I would even sit and wait for a spot.

I rushed over to the hospital, which was quite a distance from Alberton, where I stay. During my scan the Dr was very quiet, the occasional "ummm", "aaaah". We listened to Blaise's heartbeat over and over and it was strong but Blaise had stopped growing due to the lack of water.

On the scan he weighed a mere 800g.

Now my gynecologist was on leave, like gone out of the country, leave. I was sent to the Dr on call, when I got to another hospital I went straight to the maternity ward where I was strapped up to monitors and started a course of steroids.

Blaise didn't have enough water to wait another week.

The gynecologist on call had decided to deliver Blaise at 30 weeks on the Wednesday, he organized a bed in the NICU for Blaise and got the neonatologist up to date.

At 2 o'clock on Tuesday morning just before my next dose of steroids Blaise's heart beat became irregular. The gynecologist was called in and I was prepped for an emergency c section.

Blaise was born at 3:47 weighing a whole lot less then we expected. At a staggering 580g and 29cm tall, classified as a micro preemie, with a 15% chance of survival!

He was given oxygen and rushed to the NICU. At the stage I was in severe shock that I simply couldn't get a word out, I couldn't even ask if my baby was OK, I didn't even get to see him.

Blaise spent 84 days in the NICU. He was a strong little man, he fought his Cpap after a day but remained on oxygen.

He didn't have any infections but his tummy was too immature for feeds. He rejected the donor milk and was left on vein feeds for a few days until his tummy settled.

Once he got my breastmilk he managed OK. He got a total of four blood transfusions, one during a growth spurt. Can you imagine the hunger he felt not being able to get a feed in for 6 hours before the blood was administered?

He never got an infection and he was simply there to grow.

Blaise was released from the NICU weighing 2.3kg a far way from his 580g he was born at. He is now a healthy happy 2 year old little boy full of adventure and smiles.

While it hasn't been a walk in the park its been worth it and I'm grateful that God believed I was the best mom for Blaise, because I couldn't imagine my life without him.

If you haven't been in a NICU before you don't know the faith that lives in there. Miracles do happen and I've seen it in there, not just with Blaise but with many other babies that went through the NICU while we were there.

I give thanks to Dr Mnisi and the nurses at the Netcare Clinton for their healing miracle work they do every day.

"Being the parent of a preemie, means you're extra special. After all God doesn't just pick anybody to witness a miracle."

Xoxo
T

Preemie Diaries - South Africa's youngest surviving preemie goes home.

On the 9th of April 2019, Samantha Nyweba, spontaneously went into labour. She was rushed to Bertha Gxowa Hospital, east of Johannesburg. There she was told that she was having a miscarriage.

She ended up giving birth at only 21 weeks, to a baby girl, Anathi Nyweba,  who weighed just 680 grams at birth.

On the 2 July 2019, after spending 84 days in the NICU, baby Anathi finally got to go home.

"I first got to meet Samantha and Anathi when my organisation Preemie Connect went to Bertha Gxowa Hospital to gift the preemie parents with a goodie bag filled with essentials and also to give them hope and encouragement. 

With me being a preemie mother myself, I know first hand how hard and sometimes lonely the premature journey can be. Having support through the NICU journey is great but it's once you leave the safety net of the hospital that you really require support.

Preemie Connect plans to be there throughout this journey alongside Samantha and Anathi. "

Anathi is a miracle baby and the youngest surviving premature baby in South Africa. (by gestation).

Her story gives hope for all other babies, born this soon, especially in Africa.

We wish both mommy and baby all the best as they get to finally go home.

We are also so grateful and appreciative of the hard work and support that the staff of Bertha Gxowa Hospital have given.

With love,

Tasmin
Preemie Connect

Preemie Diaries - Happy Second Birthday

Can you believe my Preemie has just turned 2? Neither can I! I never thought we'd make it to day 2 let, alone 2 whole years. And although the second year of life has come with its own trials and tribulations, I am so thankful that we have been lucky enough to reach this great milestone.

This journey has been the most remarkable of my life. Yes it has been hard. Yes it has been uncertain and yes its been a roller-coaster. But it's also been filled with so many magical moments. Moments I took for granted the first time I became a mom.

You see we are so busy just trying to get through each day that we really do take for granted the simple things.

A cry: I remember my first born suffered from colic (as a new mother back then, I didn't know it.) And it drove me insane!! But now I appreciate that sound. You see my Preemie was intubated for a while so I could not hear him cry in the beginning. And the first time I did, it was truly music to my ears.

Holding up his neck on his own: This mile stone, took what seemed like forever to do, but the first time he did, was magic. Something so simple, filled me with awe.

Solids: This has been 1 of the tougher parts of prematurity for us. Soft foods were easy peasy but we struggled with lumpier foods, struggled to learn how to chew. And so we had to see a speech therapist. And we have basically mastered it now. Some days are still harder than others but every time we are able to eat a whole "big boy" meal, it's still a win.

Sitting on our own: He conquered that like a champ and I thought everything else would be just as quick and simple. But as prematurity has it, some things take a little more time and patience.

Talking: He was always been ahead in this regard. He started babbling after a few weeks of being home. He said his first word at 5 months old and ever since then he has just been making strides. He's now forming sentences.

Crawling: This 1 hit us for a 6. My little one didn't crawl for the longest time. In fact we had to go for physical therapy for this. He army crawled for months and the therapist told me he would never crawl on all 4s. Well he sure showed us! At 15 months he started crawling on all 4s.

Walking: This 1 has been the hardest of the milestones to reach. And believe it or not we are still trying to reach that goal, at 2 years old. On the positive side he loves walking while we hold his hands. He can walk and walk and walk like this for hours. And just very recently (in the past week actually) he took his first 2 independent steps. For some this is just the norm but to a preemie parent this is 1 of the greatest achievements ever.

Yes, this second year has been filled with even more appointments. From speech therapy, to occupational therapy, to physical therapy and of course our neonatal follow ups. But I just look at it as our Preemie family extending. Afterall, it takes a village.

I look at my baby boy (although technically he isn't a baby any more) and I am in awe. I am so, so grateful. More grateful than I have ever been for anything in my life. God chose little old me to bare witness to a miracle. And I get to witness it every, single day.

God has made me appreciate all the small things. A cry, a laugh, a word all the things we normally take for granted, I appreciate. Because I know that things could've been so much different, this post could've been so much different, I could've been so much different.

So to you son, on your second birthday, I would just like to say thank you. You have brought hope, peace, understanding, appreciation and so much more love into our lives.

XOXO, T

Happy New Year - A look back on 2018

Happy New Year LLE Family. I wish you everything of the best for this new year.

Shoo, time has really flown by. Now I know that I have been M.I.A for quite some time but as you know I had a preemie baby and boy has he kept me on my toes!

I am so happy to report that he is doing great and has exceeded all my expectations.

I have been really focused on the prematurity stuff over the past year, educating myself, lending support and of course raising awareness like there's no tomorrow.

So yes Life, Luv, Everything kind of took a backseat. But with baby boy doing so well I can now start focusing on the blog again full time. (Yay!)

I wanted to start this first blog with all the positive things I was able to accomplish with regards to prematurity. You see when I started this journey I realised that the lack of support for premature families was so prevelant and that no-one was focusing on the well beings of the parents. (I mean healthy, happy mommy and daddy equates to healthy, happy baby). And so I formed the online Support Group Preemie Connect .

Preemie Connect has grown from strength to strength and has opened a whole new world for me.

There were so many people that came together to help me realise my dream of hosting an event for World Prematurity Day 2018. What was supposed to be me going back to the hospital where my baby was born, to gift them with some knitted goodies, turned into 2 wonderful events. I was also very fortunate to have been referred to Selin Bentoom who is based in Ghana and the founder of African Foundation for Premature Babies and Neonatal Care (AFPNC). She has been instrumental in mentoring me and guiding me with making World Prematurity Day 2018 a success.

Many individuals as well as companies jumped on board. Not only were we able to have close on 300 knitted hats,booties and jerseys but we were able to fill up goodie bags with essentials for mommy and baby.

The greatest blessing was being able to go back to the hospital along with my fellow preemie mommies who have been beside me throughout this journey, and speak to the new preemie moms. Gosh it was such an emotional moment but it was the most rewarding and blessed feeling ever. (I'm still on a high from it!!). I also managed to get a Pastor to come in and pray with us and do one on one prayers with some of the moms (and from my personal experience that was such a blessing and so needed at that particular time.)

I also hosted a blood drive. I was amazed by the turn out and even more so, excited to have met a few preemie moms that I have given support to over this year. Coming full circle was so amazing and I am in such awe of these woman and especially the babies. Working with SANBS was so amazing. They made it fun and were so welcoming and friendly.

Through this year there have been many platforms where I have been able to share my preemie story. We were featured on Embrace , Side By Side and most recently in the latest report from the World Health Organisation WHO

So as you can see it has been quite the year for us. I hope you enjoyed this look back on 2018.

In the comments let me know how the past year has been for you and what you wish to achieve in this new year.

Much love
XOXO, T.


Accrediation to all our donors for World Prematuriy Day:
Anjo Wash And Stitch
Bennetts
Noonoo Pie
Mrs Milk
Eucerin
Jeppe High Preparatory School
Bar One
AFPNC

Preemie Diaries - A letter to you on your first birthday

I'm sitting here a week after your birthday and I have been a total emotional wreck.

I can't believe we made it to a year. I am in awe of you and God's work. I just didn't think we would make it.

All these memories keep popping up on my facebook page. Happy photos of my baby bump. This time the journey was supposed to be different. And yes it was, just not the different I thought it would be.

I am grateful for the journey we have been on. No-one really understands it but us. I have sacrificed alot in this past year but believe me the sacrifices were totally worth it.

I never knew that somebody so tiny could teach me about strength. I mean I always thought I was a strong person but I also knew my strength had limits. The day you were born you showed me that I was stronger than I could ever imagine. And after experiencing prematurity I can face anything.

When you were born I wasn't even wake to see you, to hear you cry for the first time. I only got to meet you 9 hours after your birth. It was super scary. You were so tiny, literally skin and bones. I couldn't fathom how you would ever make it. I was scared. I cried for 4 days straight. I felt like I was going to loose my mind and I couldn't understand why God would do this to me. After everything we had been through why me.

But now I know why. Sometimes we loose sight of what is important in life. We are so busy trying to build the "perfect life" at the cost of everything else. I thought that as a working parent I was being the best parent. But never being present for your kids is not living. For 10 years I worked, I worked hard, but I missed out on so much with your brother.

God needed to give me pause. For 54 days all I did was focus on you. And every day was different. Some days were really good and we could see the end of the tunnel and other days were really bad that I thought we would never make it.

I have to  give credit to your dad. He is a man amongst men. Things weren't always easy between us. But from your conception till now you have changed both of us and made our marriage better. Thank you son.

I have never seen a man more dedicated to his kids than your dad. He would do anything for you and your brother. You had him wrapped around your little finger from the moment he saw you. You guys bonded instantly. And since he was the first one to see you out of the two of us, you have had a special bond.

Dad would go to work every day and come and see you every night. He prayed all the time. He would go to bed at 12 just so that he could phone the hospital to make sure you were ok.

Not many men would do that and hope that you will one day become a great man like him.

I've been hugging and kissing you even more this past week (is that even possible?) because I couldn't see past day one let alone 365 days later.

I wish you all God's greatest blessings son. And I thank you for teaching me so much over this past year. I cannot wait to see what the next year as install for us.

XOXO, Mom.

Preemie Diaries - Cup Feeding

The day the feeding tube is removed is always an awesome day. You know you have graduated to "big baby" status and are one step closer to going home.

I was always under the impression that my baby would breastfed immediately. (I clearly had no notion of how this premmie thing works.) But then I figured my baby would be bottled fed the breast milk. Wrong again.

Imagine my shock when I first saw a baby being cup fed. I kid you not. It is the most amazing sight ever. But it is also very frustrating as well.

The cup feeding is great in teaching baby how to suck, swallow, breathe. But it is so time consuming and frustrating, especially if you have never done it before.

I was lucky in that I got to try breastfeeding when baby reached 1.5kg. So although the feeding tube was still being used, baby was learning how to suck.

You really take for granted how much a term baby can do in comparison to a preemie baby. I mean I had no idea in the beginning that baby would need to learn how to breastfeed. I never knew that my milk would not come in naturally as soon as baby was out. I also never knew how hard pumping and sustaining milk supply would be, because baby was separated from me and because he was not sucking.

So many unknowns. So many new things to learn.

I think the most frustrating thing is pumping. It's all you do, all day and all night. In the beginning I was super frustrated but once I realised that my baby's life depended on getting that breastmilk, momma went into overdrive. I did everything and took everything I could to help my baby. And trust me it was extremely hard work. But we did it. We were one of the luckier ones because not everyone is able to produce milk.

The first time I tried cup feeding I was so scared. I didn't understand how a baby so small would be able to do it. But I sat and watched other babies doing and enjoying it and I just perservered.

When we were discharged I thought that that would be the end of cup feeding but no, in order to administer the vitamins baby needed I still needed to cup feed and also to make sure he was in fact still getting enough milk.

One of my biggest goals was to make sure that baby put on weight as he should be. Measuring every gram gained (and sometimes lost) became part of everyday life.

I don't know who came up with the cup feeding phenom but boy are you a smart someone. And thank you.

I've put up a little video that we took back in our cup feeding days so that you guys can see just how amazing it is.

XOXO, T

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Going Back To Work - Thank You Cat And Nat

So alot of you don't know this but when my baby was born prematurely last year, I decided to stay home to take care of him. It was a very tough decision, but one that has proven to be the best decision I have ever made.

With his first birthday fastly approaching, I have been thinking about getting back into the job market.

But with new youth coming into the job market every year (by the thousands) and also having been out of action for so long, I've always worried about how will I make it work, have I become obsolete?

Technology changes daily and people are re-inventing themselves and honing their skills daily too.

So when I came across this video from these wonderful ladies Cat and Nat I felt like they hit the nail right on the head.

Me being a mom is an attribute, not a liability. And in the past year I have mastered more skills than any person that I know. I have also worked on skills that I wasn't so good at (multi-tasking? Piece of Cake). My memory? (On point. I mean I have a small baby who has to have vitamins administered on time, daily. And my older child has different sports on different days).

I could go on and on but these ladies definitely do it in a more convincing way.

So for all employers out there, I think that you should watch this video and re-think how you see moms. We are actually a financial benefit to your organisation.

And thank you Cat and Nat for saying what a lot of mom's have been wanting to say but just didn't. You girls rock!!!

XOXO, T

*Accreditation: Cat And Nat: Mom Truths Cat And Nat: Mom Truths
*Accreditation:  Cat And Nat

Preemie Diaries - Kangaroo Care

Kangaroo Care is one of the most amazing "inventions" for prem babies, if you ask me.

It's a physical phenomenon that parents get to delight in. As parents of a premature baby there really isn't much you can do to help your baby. You're often at times just a bystander. But when you get to Kangaroo your child, its amazing. Not only are you getting to bond with your little miracle but you are actually helping them to grow by doing it. Isn't that amazing?

The hospital I was in is one that actually has a ward dedicated to Kangaroo Care. You get booked back into hospital and all you get to do is carry your baby skin-to-skin around the clock. And believe you me KMC (Kangaroo Mother Care, as only the moms are allowed to be re-booked to do Kangaroo Care) helps babies put on weight so much quicker.

It's a tedious job. But after all you as parents and the baby have been through, Kangaroo Care seems like a walk in the park.

Some mommies end up staying there for weeks, but because we had already had such a long stay in hospital and were nearly at our "discharge weight" we were only there for 48 hours. But what a tiring 48 hours it was. It's a lot of work keeping your baby comfortable and warm while basically half sitting, half laying. And that's all you do day in and day out. The hospital keeps to its 3 hourly feeds. So every 3 hours you have to get up, change nappies, and feed your baby.

But I was glad I had got to experience it. It was also my first time being "alone" with my tiny baby. Basically I was prepping for when I took little man home. And those 48 hours really helped me. I kinda felt like a pro by the time I was discharged :)

The babies absolutely love it though. Even now, though my boy is 7 months actual (and  4 corrected) he still loves to KMC.

Plus with modern day improvements there are now wraps that you get that are absolutely great for Kangaroo Care (check hubby and I out in our  Noonoopie Wrap that was sponsored by the wonderful ladies at The Baby Box Project ).

I am so blessed that we have made it so far on our Premmie Journey. And to all the other parents out there still going through the journey please sound off in the comments about your experience.

You can also follow my Premmie Connect page on facebook

XOXO, T

**A special thank you for the mom's who shared the pictures of Kangarooing.

Our Youth Have Lost The Plot

Almost a month ago there was total uproar, at a school here in South Africa where students were demanding that their current school uniform pants be changed to a "skinny pants." They actually protested and boycotted classes to prove their point.

I must say as a parent I am disgusted. As an ex student (okay it was some time ago, but still), I cannot believe what is going on.

I mean our education system has come along way. And one of the things about going to school here in South Africa, is the pride in one's school uniform. But more importantly is the fact that many people fought and even died for the right to be able to get a decent education.

And how much is it going to cost to design and make these new "skinny pants?" And since "skinny pants" are not designed to fit all our figures, especially here in Africa where we are known to be more curvier, what then? Is this not discrimination?

The problem with our youth today is that they are too entitled. They feel like they have the right to do anything and everything their heart's desire. I mean for Pete's sake, SKINNY PANTS!!! Do we not have more pressing, important issues to focus on?!!

There are kids out here who have to walk (yes walk, and yes it is still happening in 2017), kilometers to get to school. There are households that are run by kids. There are kids who aren't even afforded the luxury of being able to go to school due to the difficult circumstances that they face at home.

And yet the very people who are soon going to be the adults of this country, who are going to be our leaders and teachers, are the one's who are disrupting learning, in order to make a fashion statement.

It is disgusting and sad. The worst part is these children don't even grasp that their parents have spent alot of money for the current uniform they are wearing. Now they have to spend more money just to apease their kids who clearly do not appreciate the fact that they are fortunate enough to be attending school in the first place!!!!!

The ironic thing is in alot of jobs these days you have to wear a uniform, or at least adhere to a dress code. So what are you guys going to do when you start working? Boycott your job because you don't like the uniform?

We will support you guys, when you actually have something worth supporting. In the meantime, maybe you guys should focus on studying.

xoxo T.

Preemie Diaries - Apne What???

Apnea. I have come to fear that word, and please Lord I hope to never hear it again.

A large number of premmie babies suffer from apneas of prematurity. Due to their brains being so underdeveloped it sometimes forgets to send out the signal that they need to breathe. Yep, you read correctly,your baby (or in this case my baby) would stop breathing, often. Caffeine is administered to help the brain "stay wake."

The first time it happened I didn't quite understand what was going on and of course when they explained it to me I had an emotional breakdown.

When he stopped breathing he would have to be stimulated. So we would rub his chest, tap his feet or lift him up.

I became paranoid. I would literally sit and watch the monitors and stare at his chest, to see if it was going up and down. I remember there was a day when there was a city wide strike in our town. People would not be able to get to work. All major highways were being closed off.

That day I was going to become a "nurse". (Not literally of course) but I had decided that I would stay at the hospital all day and even all night if need be to make sure my child was okay. (Turns out it wasn't necessary as all the nurses and doctors were at work), but in my mind my child's life depended on it.

My child was one of few who actually had a lot of apneas. The highest recorded in a day was 14. That is a scary number if you think about.

The funny thing with apneas is one day they just stop. Well normally by the time the baby reaches full term they should stop. But that doesn't mean that you, as a paren,t are still not wary that your kid might stop breathing. I mean even today, although we have been home for almost 2 months, I still worry that he may stop breathing. I'm always checking on him, I never leave him alone for long periods, (even if he is asleep I'm there watching, making sure.)

I remember the first time he got transferred to the normal ward. God I was petrified. You see in ICU each child has their own personal nurse, there to specifically watch over your child 24/7. In the general ward there are 10 babies to 2 nurses. I was freaked out. I wanted to move into the ward (which unfortunately due to our government facilities is not permitted).

My son did well...for 3 days. On the third day he had an apnea, a major one...and I froze. I literally froze. But luckily I didn't freeze for long and managed to call a nurse. But I was scared, extremely scared. I could've lost my son in that moment. Next minute there were doctors and nurses all over and he was being rushed backed to ICU.

He ended up staying in ICU for another 3 weeks. The second time round when he was transferred to the general ward I was less apprehensive, and believe it or not he never had another apnea again.

To all the parents out there experiencing the same thing at this moment all I can say is I feel your pain. And honestly, with time, it does get better.

XOXO, T.

*Accreditation: Image is from Preemie Support and Awareness
https://www.facebook.com/PreemieSupportandAwareness/

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Proudly South African - Welcome Mshuuka

Hey everyone. Today I'm doing one of my favourite posts, music. But not just any old music, nope. Today we back down south of the equator, in my own homeland, South Africa.

A while back I started the Proudly South African feature. I haven't paid much attention to it but I'm back at it. I mean afterall there's no place like home.

Today I would like to introduce you to Sizwe Mashiyane aka Mshuuka.

MSHUUKA

He recently released his very first single titled: "Noma Yini Bozza Yam" - loosely translated as "Anything Big Homie".

Coming from very humble beginnings, from the streets of Soweto (one of the largest townships in South Africa), Mshuuka always wanted to be an artist. Unfortunately as the age old story of music goes, it has been nothing but a struggle.

You see here down south, unless you are mainstream, there is no making money from music, which is so sad. There is not enough emphasis on up and coming artists and there aren't many places where you can perform to get yourself noticed.

This track has a dope beat and some catchy phrases in it. It has a mixture of languages (as we are a nation with 11 official one's), it caters to a large audience. It has an easy to learn chorus and currently has everyone jamming to this track. I firmly believe that there is nowhere to go from here but up for Mshuuka. He's more than a rap artist, he's a lyricist.

Mshuuka is already making waves down here and has had a featured post on SA Hip Hop Magazine Downloads as well as Zhikipani.co.za Top 3 Underground Artists. He has also been quoted as saying: " I want my name carved in stone and have the stone rolling with the legends."

He has also teamed up with a group of local guys representing the South of Johannesburg (South Africa), to showcase their talents. Their first sampling is AMAZEBALLS!!! You can check out the track from the South Syndicate here South Syndicate - Winning

But hey guys, don't just take my word for it, go and download the track and see for yourself. (See links at the bottom of the post).

Sound off in the comments section to let us know what you think.

XOXO, T.


@mshuuka

https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=mshuuka

https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.datafilehost.com%2Fd%2F94240a31&h=ATMw0H_btmy08QXOyq9YOjRqrIz9yz3qC41ChLzTkwgboK96xSCFnh2ryCxuOOW8WqfKwjLIQCxYFHL323uGQOBD8kgey3l7ZEH-EGcb7wzbuIJ4unRbVB7u3FMCpYcmAnx9nKmXSTc


https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fm.soundcloud.com%2Fmshuuka%2Fnomayinibozzayam&h=ATMw0H_btmy08QXOyq9YOjRqrIz9yz3qC41ChLzTkwgboK96xSCFnh2ryCxuOOW8WqfKwjLIQCxYFHL323uGQOBD8kgey3l7ZEH-EGcb7wzbuIJ4unRbVB7u3FMCpYcmAnx9nKmXSTc

Preemie Diaries-Our First Week

I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. Finally!!! I would do everything different this time. I mean after having a miscarraige I think you pay way more attention to your body and to every ache and pain than you usually would.

I made sure I ate right, got plenty of rest, didn't allow myself to get upset by anything. I was on the right path. Then on February the 14th my husband and I were involved in a car accident. I have never been more afraid in my whole life. I really thought we were all dead, and that my son would be left without parents. Luckily enough at the time everything seemed to be fine and life continued as we knew it, and then out of nowhere, my worst fear came true. I started bleeding.

My husband rushed me to hospital. I was booked in and after a few hours the bleeding stopped and everything looked good. 2 days later just when it looked like I would be going home, I started bleeding again and was immediately rushed in for an emergency C-Section.

I was in shock, I started crying, I started praying...it was too soon. I just managed to phone my husband to let him know that our baby would be coming out before I was rushed into theatre.

And then our miracle arrived....born at 28weeks, weighing 1,080kg, our second son was born.

Having a premature baby was never something I ever thought would happen to me, or should I say having a premature baby that soon, was something that I thought would never happen to me.

My eldest son was born at 8 months, but although he was born a month before his due date, he came out perfectly fine and was able to come home with me once I got discharged.

Baby number 2 is a whole different story. I didn't get to see my son immediately. Infact it was only 7 hours later that I got to see him. He was the tiniest thing I had ever seen. I started crying immediately. The first few days were so tough. If I did not have the husband that I have, the family that I have, I have no idea how I would've made it. Never have I seen a man that is so dedicated to his family, like my husband is to us. He has been my strength throughout all of this. And even though it has been just as hard for him as it has for me, he has never allowed himself to give up or be weak. He has kept the faith going when mine had faltered.

Along with having a prem baby comes alot of complications. My boy could not breath on his own and was put on a ventilator. Then he kept having episodes where he would just stop breathing (even while being on the ventilator). Then he got jaundice. Then they found that he had a bleed on the brain, but thank God it was one that could be non-life threatening. He received a blood transfusion and then things started turning around. He was removed from the ventilator and put on a less strong breathing machine. The jaundice went away. All this in the first 7 days of his life!!!

And that's when I knew although this road that we were forced to walk upon, was given to us, it was something that we could manage. God did not bring us this far to leave us to drawn.

So even though it has been hectic physically and emotionally (I still cry at the drop of a hat) I know that soon you guys will see that our baby boy has come home and is continuing to thrive.

Sound off in the comments section about your experience with having a prem baby.

XOXO T.

The Blog Corner - Sam Avery Comedian

I've recently decided that I would like to do my bit in promoting bloggers. Since hosting link-up's is really time consuming, I decided that it would be cool, when I do find a blog that I like that I share about that blogger, and hence the birth of the Blog Corner.

So recently I was pleasantly surprised when one of my girlfriends re-shared a blog post titled "20 Things I Learned As A Parent Last year." That title alone had me captivated. I mean how often do parents share the things that they have learned good and bad. Oh yes everyone is willing to tell you about the good, the rainbow and sunshine. But nobody wants to tell you about the the bad, the straight up God's honest truth. And that was what was so enriching about this particular post. The first item on the list told me that this is definitely my kind of post and this author is a guy after my own heart.

So after reading the post I immediately liked his Facebook page. But with not having much time to do any more reading I just left it at that. But then one day during the course of the week he posted again, and once again this guy was speaking straight to me. And I just felt immediately that I wanted to share his work. I mean how often do you come across such brutal honesty put so funnily, so in-your-face??!!!

Said guy is none-other than Sam Avery Comedian. He is a father to twin boys and uses his blog to share this crazy, tiring, funny, loving experience that is parenthood. Who by the way won the MADS best new blogger award last year. (I am so jelly!!!) He is also a comedian and host. In fact he sort of sounds like superdad to me.

I feel that alot of you will relate to and love Sam Avery's unique wittiness. Also how often do you find a dad that does a blog? I know for me its a first and I absolutely love it.

So when you get a chance do head over to his Facebook page or website and have a look. I promise you, you will be pleasantly surprised.

XOXO T

*Accreditaion:https://www.facebook.com/samaverycomedian/
**Accreditation: http://www.samaverycomedian.co.uk/p/home.html

Cost of Education In South Africa

Happy New Year to all our readers. I wish nothing but all your heart's desires being fulfilled for this year.

With the new year comes the new school year. And having spoken to other parents I realised that we all have the same common complaints. Cost of a good education is extremely high in South Africa.

It's so sad that a basic human right is not easily accessible to the average person. And what is even more sad is that the gap in the education system is so vast. There are so many different "levels" (for lack of a better explanation). You have basic schooling which only offers the bare minimum. You have what they used to refer to as model C schools, which also have the different levels (believe it or not), and then the elite Private Schools.

The strange thing for me is that all schools (except for the private schools) sit and write the same matric exam. So why can we not all get the same type of education at an affordable rate?

South Africa recently launched a new online registration system, which I felt was such a good thing because it was not as time consuming as going to the actual school, collecting the forms, going home filling them out and then returning them at a later stage. However I was quite upset that the system only gives you the schools within a 1km radius. And because the school that my son was in is 1.2km's away it would not allow me to register.

I recently came across an article about a Private School which costs the same amount as the upper class Model C schools. I could not believe it!! Someone else was just as fed up as I was but actually decided to do something about it. And you get the same level of education as a private school at the price of a Model C school.

There are alot of basic issues that this country faces namely Health, Education, Housing and Food. These are all basic human rights, human needs, and yet they are at the best of times unaffordable.

The average person cannot afford to live close to where they work as rent is too expensive. So you end up staying on the outskirts of the city because it is cheaper, and travelling 1.5 - 2 hours via public transport to get to work. Hell the average person will never afford to buy their own house or car. It's just ridiculous!

As a nation we need to stand up and say enough is enough.

There are 9282000 employed South Africans. Are you telling me that our taxes cannot be used towards making these basic human rights accessible?

I can fully understand why university students across the country decided to start the #feesmustfall campaign last year. I don’t support the manner in which it was done, but I definitely support the cause.

So I think that this year our government must really take a step back and re-evaluate all their policies that they have in place. I mean at the end of the day we all want to live a good life, send our kids to great schools, live in decent houses and afford to buy food. Are we asking for too much?

XOXO T

Proudly South African - The Legend That Will Always Be...Mandoza

It was a sad day for all South Africans on Sunday when we heard the heart-breaking news that one of our greatest Kwaito Legends had passed away.

Mduduzi Tshabalala better known by his stage name Mandoza was one of the most realist artists I have ever seen. We were all fortunate enough to get a closer look at the Kwaito sensations life when he had his reality show "Rolling with Mandoza." We got to see the man behind the music, the father, the husband. This show really made everyone love him that much more.

Mandoza had had many difficulties through his life, but somehow he always managed to turn a negative into a positive. After being released from jail he formed a group called Chiskop before deciding to go solo. With a one of a kind voice he took South Africa, and later, the rest of the world by storm.

The hit record that brought South Africa together was his infamous"Nkalakatha."(loosely translated as Top Dog). Till this day you can hear that song being played at soccer games and rugby games.

He again made history when he teamed up with another South African Musician Danny K on the award wining album "Same Difference". These two, together, broke racial barriers and made our nation once again feel united. (Please see Danny K's hearfelt tribute to Mandoza here http://www.timeslive.co.za/entertainment/2016/09/19/MUST-READ-Danny-K-pens-emotional-tribute-to-his-friend-and-hero-Mandoza )

My husband is such a huge Mandoza fan and we have at many a family get-togethers heard him playing his songs. Infact yesterday he made a Mandoza playlist and we had to listen to all his greatest hits. From Nkalakatha to Godoba to 50/50. You name it he played it.

I was very shocked when last year I found out that Mandoza had cancer. But we were so glad to hear that he was on the road to recovery. Just the other day I asked my husband how Mandoza was doing (like he personally knew him or something.)

And to think just last weekend (against all odds) Mandoza had his last performance, which he insisted on doing even though he was not feeling well and could not see.

May his music live on forever.

Hamba Kahle Nkalakatha!! (translation: "Go well Top Dog")


XOXO, T

*Accreditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=788DVzhJ-qQ
**Accreditation: Times Live http://www.timeslive.co.za/entertainment/2016/09/19/MUST-READ-Danny-K-pens-emotional-tribute-to-his-friend-and-hero-Mandoza
***Accreditation: @dannykmusic

I'm Addicted To Reality TV

So for a while now I've been wanting to share my addiction with you guys. Yep I'm addicted to reality TV. I know alot of people may think that this is so weird but those of you who do know me will know that I love to see what my favourite celebs are up to.

I cannot wait to get home from a hectic day at the office (and believe me of late it has been really bad) and just binge watch mindless reality tv. So what if everything isn't the truth, who cares? As long as I get my daily dose I feel like I'm human again (and not that little hamster running on the wheel aimlessly, that I picture myself to be). Hell I feel like I'm the 7th missing Kardashian sister (Yep Jenners included.)

My current new obsession is Love and Hip Hop Hollywood. It has been so awesome watching our B2K boys all grown up, being men that are in love and daddies that would do anything for their families. (You go Fizz and Omarion). Ray J is also all grown up but still keeps the laughs coming. And the woman!!! From the way they look, to the way they conduct themselves is amazeballs. And since here in South Africa where we are a whole year behind, I just finished Season 2. And my was I surprised to see my boy Richie Dollarz on this Love and Hip Hop. (You all know him from LHHNY.) And Mr D almost put a ring on it!!!!

And please don't get me started on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Ms Nene Leakes is my all time queen of the housewives. Say what you want about her but she sure knows how to get those coins!!! I never knew (until I watched this show) that Kandi Buruss is one of the greatest songwriters of our generations. (Hey Kandi can we get some more hits please!!!)

Ohhh and what about Basketball Wives? I'm just getting super excited mentioning it. I've been siting and waiting patiently for it to return. I was so happy when on last season The Boss Miss Shaunie O'Neal returned and towards the end brought my girl Tami Roman. I have never seen a realer chick than her, ever!!! She tells it like it is and don't give a damn. It also kinda made me miss my chicka Evelyn Lozada (even though she made a very brief cameo.) Is it too much to ask for the original cast to come back? Pretty please Shaunie....

Can you see how off a tangent I go? I can go on and on about all my favourite reality tv shows but I don't want to bore you too much. But you should check them out when you can.

Anyone else a reality tv addict? Tell me what your favourites are in the comments section.

XOXO T

Too many celeb handles to mention but do follow them on twitter, instagram, facebook and snapchat

Images supplied by the following sites:
http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/tvbanners/12773129/p12773129_b_v8_aa.jpg

https://cmgajcbuzz.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/283eijcd6ka-market_maxres.jpg

http://vh1.mtvnimages.com/uri/mgid:file:gsp:entertainment-assets:/vh1/shows/basketball-wives-la/promo-web/massive/season-5/bbwla-massive.jpg?quality=0.85&width=1024&height=341&crop=true

Book Club Corner - Sheila O'Flanagan - Yours Faithfully

It seems all my new posts are starting with...it's been a minute (lol). Well now it seems like 2. Its amazing how time flies when you have a million and one things going on. I have been so busy lately both professionally and especially personally (what with my new found role of step-mom). But luckily I have found a few spare moments to read. (Even though its like a chapter a day or a few pages a day.) Hell the librarian even asked me where I had been!

The book I'm reviewing today I had actually read before, but did not finish. (So sad). But I finally got to read it again cover to cover and boy what an amazing read!!! You guys are just NOT going to believe this story line.

So there are these 2 woman Sally and Iona who are both happily married. Sally has been married for 17 years and has a daughter, while Iona has been married for 4 years and is now ready to start a family.

Sally's husband has his own company and travels alot for work. So, often he is not home. On this particular day however, he is due back home after being away for some time, and Sally finds out that she is now pregnant.

Ion's husband also has his own company and travels alot for work.

Frank Harper is business man who likes to have a hands on approach and is therefore always on the road. On this particular day he is headed back home after being away for some time, however ends up getting a flat tire. After changing the tire,he decides to stop at a nearby pub to wash off before hitting the road again. Unfortunately as he does this disaster strikes and he is left injured and in a coma.

2 different woman, with 2 seperate lives are now contacted by the police and are being told that their husband Frank Harper has been injured.

Yep ladies and gentlemen Frank is married to both Sally and Iona....and this is when reality really hits home.

I will not spoil the fun by giving you all the details. You just have to go and get the book to see how the story ends. And trust me its nothing like what you imagine.

XOXO T

*Accreditation: http://sheilaoflanagan.com/book/yours-faithfully/